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Cruzzer’s Carol Danvers Keys Checklist

I had a paradoxical emotions going through me as I was putting this together, because I had so much passion and fun writing it, yet I knew I could not make any mistakes on it, because so many people ask me questions about the character. I knew I had to raise the bar not just for myself, but others as well to gain some credibility among those who come to me asking about Captain Marvel and really give me some legitimacy on how much I love this super hero. I am glad that so many people love how good the article/list is. There were several times I forgot to hit “Save” while typing it out. Finally I got it right, somewhat

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Until the last several years, Carol Danvers for a long time has been somewhat of a background individual as far as the main players in the Marvel Universe. In the 70s, she had a solo title as the super hero Ms. Marvel, who was also pushed in and out of the Avengers often. Now she has become one of the centers characters in The Marvel Universe. 20 months from now, (March 2019) Captain Marvel (Carol Danvers) will be debuting on movie theater screens all around the world as part of Phase Three in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I am going to give CHU readers a quick run-down of Carol Danvers books of key books, some which you should start seeking out NOW before they are out of reach. As many can tell, I left many issues from the 1990s  and Civil War II from this list.

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My Love For Carol Danvers, Captain Marvel..

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This post is dedicated to Ken Brown, Chris Brown, two individuals who work at “Drawn To Comics” ,a comic shop that I can go in to and talk about Captain Marvel for hours with them, and not seem CRAZY. Thank you to my niece Alexa Aragon, for introducing me to a character I have fallen inlove with, also a big Thank you Chris Claremont, Dave Cockrum,  Kelly Sue Deconnick who have written her as an actual person, Thank you Brian Reed, and all the other writers who have written Carol Danvers and kept her consistent.

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“Have you ever seen a little girl run so far she falls down? There’s an instant, a fraction of a second before the world catches hold of her again… A moment when she’s outrun every doubt and fear she’s ever had about herself and she flies. In that one moment, evey little girl flies. I need to find that again. Like taking a car out into the desert to see how fast it can go, I need to find the edge of me… And maybe, if I fly far enough, I’ll be able to turn around and look at the world… And see where I belong.” – Carol Danvers (Captain Marvel), written by Kelly Sue DeConnick

For those who know me, well, they know Carol Danvers Captain Marvel is my favorite comic book super hero, Constantine (DC Comics) comes in 2nd or 3rd, and Moon Knight, well he comes in 3rd or 2nd.. I also love THE PUNISHER, but people always ask me, Who.. CAPTAIN MARVEL? Carol Danvers? Who is that?

In about 2 years, the movie Captain Marvel will come out and Brie Larson is going to be Carol Danvers. Real talk, I want to be in the movie, even if I am an extra getting killed or something in background. Recently, My brother Max asked me why she is my favorite and I was so passionate and excited to tell him but could not find the words to describe what made her such a BAD A$$!

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The original Captain Marvel (NOT talking about Shazam Superman Knockoff) was this a solider from the alien Kree race named Mar-Vell. He was a Captain so it was not his nickname, it was also his rank. He had some super powers but it couldn’t stop him from getting cancer, which eventually killed him. Anyways, during on his adventures he met Air Force captain Carol Danvers and something happens and it gave her some super powers, eventually she became Ms. Marvel, oh yeah she lost her powers because that mutant by the name of Rogue took them all. No Ms. Marvel.. no Rogue that can fly.. yes, Rogue from the X-men.. She was once A BAD GUY.. or BAD GIRL.. Rogue sucked all of Ms. Marvel’s powers and now Rogue can fly thanks to Carol Danvers. Danvers eventually became an Avenger, a Starjammer (Binary), joins the Avengers again and became Warbird, then Ms. Marvel and after a while Captain Mar-vell died, and she finally got permitted to become CAPTAIN MARVEL. She’s also joined the Guardians of the Galaxy at one point or another.

 

Funny because I discovered Carol Danvers, by accident. In 2012, I bought my niece Alexa a comic book, Avenging Spiderman #9 ! This was the 1st time Carol Danvers assumed the role of Captain Marvel. We both didn’t know though. I had told the comic book shop owner Ken that this issue was important because it featured a new character, Robyn Hood. What we both didn’t see until much later was this was the 1st appearance of Carol Danvers as Captain Marvel.

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I didn’t think much of it or Captain Marvel, till later Chris Lopez started talking to me about her. Later, Ken got a shipment of Ms. Marvel #1-15 written by Brian Reed and he gave me 1st crack at buying them, I passed not having $ at the time.

 

As I started reading more and more comic books, I started falling in love with Carol, Ms. Marvel, War Bird, Binary, Captain Marvel and all the other characters she is known as, I said to Ken and some other Comic Book store owners that Carol never really got the credit she deserves and that one day she would. Carol becoming Captain Marvel created a huge change in the comic world and Marvel that no one but Marvel was noticing. Women, young girls were picking up comic books for once. Kelly Sue Deconnick, a woman was writing her comics. A woman writing a woman character, one who understood what it was to be a female and a person. I’m not taking anything away from Brian Reed and Chris Claremont, but. I mean try asking a guy to create makeup for a woman, would a woman buy that makeup? Probably not. She gave the world Carol Danvers prespective through the eyes of a woman, which Carol is and it brought forth a new light of fans.

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Fast forward 4 years, and all of a sudden the Carol Danvers character has been cast by an award winning actress for un upcoming Marvel movie to be released in several years. The Marvel Universe is pushing Carol Danvers on comic book readers and fans like no other character. Marvel has made Danvers center stage of the 2nd Civil War currently happening (Summer 2016) in the Marvel world. Oh did I mention that Captain Marvel being a woman has now somewhat allowed other characters to assume the traditional roles other super heroes once had? For example, Thor is NOW A woman, X23 being a woman and taking the current role for Wolverine, Moon Girl suddenly appeared on the scene, Spider Gwen, Silk.. Fearless Defenders being an all woman team which I would say, is a predecessor to A-Force, who is an all woman team as well.

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Who is Carol Danvers ? A Google search will tell you her basic powers, origins, yadda yadda. You can read about her adventures with the X-Men, the Star jammers, the Avengers, and all other teams out there, yes, we know! I gave you a quick rundown.

What did I see though?

Danvers is extremely loyal to her friends, her morals show the character in depth, but she also has her “personal demons” that really tell a bigger story, one if you’d pay attention you’d also start loving to root for her.

Danvers has battled sexism, especially during the late 70s. She tried getting a job at the Bugle newspaper and Jonah Jameson made her the editor of the Woman Magazine, even though he doesn’t care much for it. Carol turns that magazine in to a financial success. Later Carol visits her mom, dad, but the visit turns very ugly because her father voices his sexiest ideals, cause Carol to leave. Later Carol, as Ms. Marvel saves her dad, not one, but twice, and he refuses to change his attitude toward women. Her mother who sees through Carol’s disguise tell her not to judge her father too harshly.

Carol battles alcoholism. Does someone ever fully recover from being an alcoholic?

I can’t answer that. Oh yeah.

Carol Danvers gets raped. Yes, SHE GETS RAPED!!

It was a huge hush hush hide that Marvel tried to fix, but they did a poor job at it. Just read Avengers #200 or Google “The Rape of Ms. Marvel”  ! Think of the mentality a person who has been raped constantly has to live with on a daily basis? They deal with it every day, aside from all the other bad and negative things in life that try to shake us, so Carol Danvers dealing with all these insecurities even before having to fight some bad guys, I mean, come on.. I see strength, I see a survivor, not a victim.

Someone on another forum said ” You see, Carol can beat back all the super power threats she wants, but her greatest fights are fights many go through every day.”

I had to agree.

This is the reason she is my favorite, but because she can inspire as she has inspired me. NOW YOU KNOW why I’m team Captain Marvel. Her values, her principles, her ethics, humanity. Carol Danvers, costume or not, she is amazing to me.

One local comic book store owner in Phoenix told me, “You know, she’s the next big thing in Marvel, they are just letting her loose and giving her so much power..” I shook my head and replied.. “No, she’s been here for years, no one has ever really ever paid real attention though..”

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Dear Stranger…

Dear Stranger,

You died less than an hour ago as we were trying to save you. You were still breathing when I came to help and I wish I would have arrived two minutes sooner to do more. I do not feel guilty nor does a bad feeling reside in my conscious knowing I could have done more, because I did everything I could to make the situation better. You died with blood all over one of my favorite shirts as I tried to stop the bleeding with it. As for the shirt, your soul and life is much more valuable than the memories I had of my shirt.

Stranger, My heart hurts for you; my heart hurts for your brother who was riding his bike with you tonight. Your brother said you wanted to be in a band and play the drums. My heart hurts for those who witnessed the horrible accident; my heart hurts for the conscious of the man who crashed in to you with his. I can’t tell you why this happened, all I can tell you is that we are here for a purpose. We are here as individuals to be tested to see if our souls are worthy to return to dwell our Heavenly Father, our Creator. I hope you lived a great life you can be proud of.  

Stranger, I don’t know your name, but I hope someday when we meet, I hope that your soul recognizes mine and we can catch up and just talk about life. What I feel is an awful horrible feeling for all those present, all who were there scared.  The only way I can mentally cope with what is going on in my mind is by writing about it. It’s how I cope with many things.  

Stranger, I don’t know you and yet I think to myself how much more is it going to hurt when it is someone I know who passes. Tonight, this week, I will pray for your brother. I will pray for the man who was involved in the terrible hit and run, and most of all I will pray for you.

Thursday June 25, 2015. – 10:50pm

 

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My Fightin’ Cardinal Classmates from Glendale High School!

Recently, I met with two former classmates from high school for an evening of dinner since one from out of state would be in the area to visit. I had invited one individual, one who I had ran into the comic shop, but I felt it was going to be a real odd situation since we hadn’t seen each other in years. Truthfully, it was refreshing. I didn’t make much friends in high school, but they were good, no I take that back, they were great friends at the time, and now with Facebook, I’ve talked with some, and some I never talked too again, attitudes have changed. Back then, we were all trying to figure things out in high school. We were not kids, and we were not adults at the time. We did not know if we were old or young. We all made mistakes, lots of them, at least I did. I went to Glendale High School in Glendale Arizona. Glendale high is the longest active high school in Arizona, and the Cardinals is the mascot.

I have about 15 friends on Facebook from high school that I have chosen to connect with on Facebook, and though we probably didn’t talk much then, it is good to know they are open now. So anyways, what are my memories of these people? Hopefully I won’t embarrass any of them.

Adolph B: I can’t remember where I bumped in to Adolph several years ago, but we just started talking about Comic Books and since I often spend time at a place known as Drawn To Comics in Glendale, I told him to stop by. We see each other often and talk. He has a daughter now, but what do I remember about Adolph in high school? I think when I met him in high school I asked him if he had any relation to a Henry who I had caused mischief with the previous summer. Anyways, I know he played on the Football team, and he was better his Jr. year than his Sr. year.

Andi S: Oh I had a lot of fun talking with her in high school. It wasn’t till our Sophomore year, maybe Junior year in which we shared a class together. It was English class with Mr. Leo Sears. (He now runs a FILM Festival in Hawaii) Her and I talked baseball a lot. She loved the Atlanta Braves, I was a Florida Marlins-Seattle Mariners fan. Florida beat Atlanta that year for the NLCS and won the World Series, and she would be like “FLORIDA bought their RING!” I agreed, they did, but they had one. I remember one time just arguing with her, and I challenged her and I was like “” She replied “What are you gonna do?,” I was like,Don’t worry what I am gonna do, but when I do it, you will know..That memory still has me laughing in my head. She lived about two blocks from my home so I’d see her in my hood from time to time. Anyways, she still keeps her ties to the area even though she is always competes in the World Series of Poker Tournaments.

Fernando S: Wow, Fernando, man, I was a freshman, he was a sophomore, we had Intro-tech class together. I watched him do a radio cassette tape and I was super impressed because he was good at it. He also introduced me to “Lighter Shade of Brown” I ran in to Fernando again in college and often got together from time to time.

Jazmin V: My mom worked for the school district, and my mom knew Jazmin, and Jazmin knew me and who my mom was. She talked in Spanish, which at the time was not my strong point, pero when I was around her, also in a class with Leo Sears, I think Communications, and she’d say some bad words in Spanish I laughed because no one understood her but I did, so I’d chuckle.

Jennifer K: Another one I met in Leo Sears class. Communications class I think, maybe English. Wow. We also had a summer school class together, and since we were the only ones from the same high school in that class we’d chat, but yeah, the jokes we’d crack in Leo Sears.

Josh A: So he had a knack for getting on my nerves by calling me “Gilbert Grape” when I had no idea what or who “Gilbert Grape” was. Later I found out it was a movie, but I have yet to see it to this day. He was in two of my classes my freshman year, P.E. and Intro-tech (Fernando was also in that class) His current Facebook posts often make me laugh often making odd requests, but I’m happy to hear he likes Gambit (my favorite X-men character) as much or even more then I do.

Manuel A.: We had a P.E. Class together and we didn’t talk much. Several years ago, he hit me up on facebook and every once in a while I run in to him or we chat about what’s going on in life. He’s very stand up and very direct, if he has something on his mind he’ll tell you.

Marie V: She had the same last name as I, so I would always call her “Prima” which means “Cousin” ! I really have no idea if we are related or not, maybe we are we just don’t know, but she’d sit in back of me in English class. I knew she liked boxing. I still call her Prima to this day! 

Michael B: Oh man, I met him my freshman year, and I called him “Screech” He hated it. I always said he looked like “Screech Powers” from Saved by The Bell. Let me tell you something, if I give someone a nickname, I figure they are pretty cool, because it took me a bit to think of something to remind me of them, so I won’t forget them, but yeah, Michael, sorry for making your life hard by calling you “Screech” 🙂 He also hooked me up with “Doom” on my computer !

Morgan S.: I’ve known Morgan since I was in 1st grade, as he was in my class, even though he was in 2nd grade. See, that class was for super smart accelerated kids and they combined a class together. Eventually we found out that we were both LDS. We went all through grade school together, even if we were not in the same grade or class and I knew his Mom. I run in to his mom from time to time and it is good to talk with her.

Ray S.: I met Ray my freshman year. We would eat lunch together and he was a wrestler. I’d go crazy watching him eat. In truth, I’d go crazy actually watching him, not eat. He was trying to always maintain a certain weight for wrestling. He later went in to the Marines, came back and started fighting MMA. What I tripped out was when he fought UFC Fighter Nick Diaz on a two week notice. Yes, Nick Diaz won, but Ray took it to him. I know his brother Steve (who I met my sophomore year) later started fighting and made it to the UFC briefly. I thought I briefly saw Ray one day at Circle K but I really could not tell if it was him or not, but I know he keeps much of his life private with his family.

Ricardo V: There was a band, more like a group of “Hispanic-Latino-Raza” kids always hanging out and having a good time causing mischief. I hung out with most of them my sophomore year of high school. Ricardo was among the group. I ran in to him in college and we hung out there as well. He’s a big soccer fan.

Sam B.: Wow. I met Sam my Sr. year of high school in automotives class. This class was filled with knuckleheads, or at least we all acted like knuckleheads. The teacher was Randy Espinoza. He would let his students be late to class without marking you tardy if you brought him a “coke” Anyways, Sam, He is Native and he sat next to me. One day I said, I’m not going to say a word to anyone and just flap my arms like I am flying and breathing fire. So in Autos, I started flapping my arms like I was flying, and he was like, “Stop it, this isn’t Angels in the outfield, stop flapping your arms” Needless to say I continued. Oh Sam. Anyways I later learned he was LDS and served a two year mission. I came to know his mother and father. I always loved talking with his parents; his mother would often encourage me to keep up with being involved in local politics as I grew a disinterest in them for a while. She would be like, “we need more brown people in office.”

Tracy S. I know she was in some of my classes as a freshman, but she was always hyper! Not much has changed. She always sat on the opposite side of me in class, and I’m not sure if she was looking at me or something else but I made a funny face towards her and she did one back. Lol. So anyways, we became holmies. Some of the things she says have me rolling, like calling some people in traffic “Butterbags” or “Hippos” for not moving in traffic when they can. She lives in Washington State now. Oh, she loves watching UFC also. She gave me a UFC Shirt from Seattle about a year ago, when I was planning on going to a fight and not being able to make it! Oh, She is A MF’ing SORCEROR!

So those are friends on Facebook from High School and the memories I have about them. I hope when they read what I wrote about them they aren’t mad or embarrassed, but I hope they appreciate that even if it was just for a moment, someone not so close to them had a thought, had a memory about them..

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Street Fighter 2 was more than just a video game to me, it was part of my childhood

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I don’t think there is a video game which made a bigger impact on my life, and still continues to do so, then Street Fighter 2.

Today (July 8) is Video Game Day.

Today kids don’t realize how good we had it with games back in our day. We actually rode our bikes to the mall or corner 7-11 to play the “awesome games” on arcade machines. Yes, kids, we got out of the house and did other things then just play on our smart phones/tablets. I was just coming in to age of memory as the Atari console was fading. I remember Pac-Man, Pong, and Astroids on the Atari.  I was given a Nintendo system in 3rd grade, so when I first caught a glimpse of Street Fighter 2, you had no idea how blessed I really felt, the graphics, the sounds, it was overwhelming. So many memories.

There was always big crowds around the Street Fighter arcade console, which intimidated me. If you waited long enough you could put quarters on the edge of the screen showing people you were next in line. Then if I got lucky, I got to play the winner, who was usually some skilled kid who knew how to properly block and was great at his timing with punches and kicking. I’d go crazy that I’d be trying to learn to throw a simple fireball, or Ryu’s Dragon Punch and my opponent was throwing combinations in every shape or form.  Then I’d lose and it stung your ego when you have just lost in front of so much people your age. Word would get around back to your classmates at school.

The game was complex, you had so many choices of characters, but they were all balanced in some shape or form. What many people don’t know was how much this game influenced the roots of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, THE UFC.

On the arcade, I was never great at it, but I loved it. When it made it’s way to the super Nintendo,  which I did eventually get, this is were I perfected my craft. My brothers and sisters would play hours. One time I was destroying my brother and younger sister all day long, towards the night, my younger sister beat me with Chun Li. Wow, I literally lost to a girl. She would make such a big fuss, and still does to this day about it.

Today, whenever I see a Street Fighter 2 arcade, regardless the version of it, I still dig in to my pockets for quarters. Very few people have seen the huge SF2 video game collection I have amassed. Street Fighter 2, it is a true timeless masterpiece.

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Arizona native Estevan ‘El Terrible’ Payan prepares to fight on the biggest UFC Card of the 2013 year

Here is an article I wrote for http://AZCageWarrior.wordpress.com ! I hope to write more on other “Arizona Fighters” real soon.

AZCageWarrior

By Gabriel Cruz

It was January 2nd 2012, a Monday morning and Estevan Payan was at Dunkin Doughnuts hung over from celebrating, when his Mixed Martial Arts coach Trevor Lally called and asked him if he wanted to fight that coming Saturday on January 7. For Payan, the money Strikeforce was offering was too good to pass up. He weighed about 182 at the moment he got the phone call, but by the time he was ready to get in some mitt work Payan had already worked his way down to 169lbs. By weigh in time on Friday night, he stepped on the scale and weighed 160lbs, which had been the weight agreed by him and his opponent Alonzo Martinez to fight at because of the late notice in his Strikeforce Debut.

Since that call, when Payan was hung over, Payan has matured a long way, in many ways…

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2013, I’m going all in…

“Stand like a man, move like a legend, talk but with ACTION, that’s how you’ll be remembered. The greats learned that humility is a weapon; sever ties with the part of you too big to learn a lesson, sit in silence, to find the mind and try to find the Present, cuz we only get a few chances to be epic.” – Macklemore (Kings)

Dana White and I in the Octogon in Seattle

Dana White and I in the Octogon in Seattle on December 7, 2012

I quote Macklemore because it was his breakout year and he went mainstream. For those who know me well, they without a doubt know that I have been following his career since 2004. I think those lyrics will go hand in hand with a lot of the things I want to say. First of all, I apologize I have not been able to post in such a long time. I’ve taken a break, a long one, I know I’m still chatting facebook and twitter, but I’ve taken a break from things that have mattered to me. I am not sure what to think, I mean sometimes I want to express myself and  I am so caught up in my thoughts that my emotions are all mixed up. I wanted to share this though because I hope someone out there can learn something a  little bit about me, who I am, what I’ve been going through the last several days, and if not, maybe learn a little bit about themselves.

I finished the year awesome.  In September I went to Disneyland, hung out with Goofy and Donald Duck.  In October I went to Macklemore & Ryan Lewis’s concert. It was sold out and I didn’t have tickets, yet they remembered me from previous shows before he hit stardom and put me on the list. December was just awesome. My friend Ken gave me a mint first print copy of the Janurary 1980 comic book “Uncanny X-Men #141” for my birthday. I intend to make a blog about that sometime in the future.  Later that week, I took a trip back to Seattle to see the UFC on Fox 5, and also to see the Cardinals get pounded by the Seahawks 58-0. That whole trip is in a post by itself, I met Jon Bones and several others as well, but after personally meeting and speaking with Dana White 1 on 1, I left Seattle inspired to “REDEFINE Hustle & Hard work”  The thing is, every time I go to Seattle, I leave a little piece of my heart and soul there. This time I came back with so much more than what I’ve lost. I could say it was the End of a chapter in my life and the start of another one. I let go of a lot of pain I had been holding inside of me.

This past July, someone important to me died of a heart attack and I placed a lot of blame on myself because before she passed away, we had gotten angry at each other and hadn’t spoken. It was over something extremely childish but I wanted to stand my ground because I know I had done nothing purposely wrong and yet as a man I should have put my pride down, called her and fixed it up. I didn’t do that. I know now that she is that she knows I’m right. I am angry at myself that I didn’t have many more conversations with her, but I am grateful for the time we did spend together, moments in life that made me smile and rejoice, moments that I will never be able to share with anyone.

Talking about conversations, I often want to have longer conversations with the people in my life.

I dislike sending e-mails.

I dislike sending texts.

I don’t feel it is genuine. I want to be able to emotionally connect with other people on much deeper levels.

When the last time you got a letter in the mail that was not a bill?

When was the last time you got a postcard from a friend visiting some other city?

Call me old school but I still send them. Call me old school but I still pick up the phone to call people to talk to them.

In a conversation I can recall with the girl who died of a heart attack, when I was first getting to know her, I said to her that I wear my heart on my sleeve, but if you were to actually peek in to my head, you’d see I’m always thinking mischievous thoughts, but when it comes down to the moment, I can’t seem to pull the trigger.  I always end up doing the right thing. It is not in my nature to rip someone off, or take advantage of them. It is not in my nature to have a condescending attitude. Also, I will not show you emotion whatsoever in public. It’s tough for me.

I know I’m human, but sometimes I just want to unleash my anger on someone, and I can’t. I have a love for people that I just can’t define, but I’m sure some of my friends have felt it before.  It’s not a love that was taught to me, it was a love I have always felt for everyone yet not know how to fully express it to them that I actually do care even if my actions don’t show it. Even when I’m un-purposely being a jerk to people by joking with them with one of the many various nicknames I give them.  I’m the type who “wines and dines people” as some people put it, and I’m not looking for anything in return, just friendship and genuine conversation. I love to build people up, as in, I believe in the hopes, the dreams and goals of the people I come across and I do everything in my power to make them see things about them that they themselves do not see.

This is my character.  This is who I am.

This is how my cup gets filled, by taking random friend out to dinner and just talking to them, hearing what they have to say, how they are doing.  Recently I started bringing random co-workers fruit (an apple, a pear) or a random stranger standing outside a convenient store a hot chocolate or piece of gum.  I walk around hi-fiving random people in public.

This is me, this is who I am.

One person said to me, “I don’t understand, every time we go somewhere,  you always make new friends, every time we go out, people are always looking to give you something  or hooking you up with things.”

I told them because I give everyone value and they recognize it. I told him that I am real with them; I don’t try and fake my interaction with them.  They know I have something to offer them before asking anything of them first.

Sometimes I have life going for me so well, and people that don’t know me say I can come off as extremely arrogant, but once that get to know me learn that I’m rather quiet and reserved.

As of late I have kept an affirmation book and I cut and paste things on it every day. In moments that I feel down I pull out my book and read it.  It lifts me up because they are compliments I give to myself. All my life I have had trouble taking compliments.  For this reason, I give everyone compliments.

I try my hardest to perceive people more beautiful than they actually perceive themselves.  There are many layers to me, many layers people do not see or I don’t reveal to them.  I mean if you were to ask 50 of my friends who I am; I’m more than positive you would get 50 different answers. I’m the guy who can intermingle and blend in to any crowd like a chameleon and yet not belong to any certain tribe, because I don’t close myself off. It is not that because I am looking for myself, because I am a part of all those tribes, and yet at the same time, I am part of none of them.

I think I have hurt some people in my life and I have looked for a way to open a way of communication with them to find out what offense I may have committed against them so I am able to learn and grow as a person from it. I love to know what makes people get up in the morning, what moves them, what angers them, what makes them tick, what makes them smile, what is there reason for waking up and saying, today I am going to make things awesome. I know for a lot of my friends, it’s their children, but I ask, if their children were not there, why they would get up out of bed that day. These things make me curious.

I know this might sound a little stupid to some people but I often pray for others, sometimes I pray for random people I meet throughout the day, like a cashier lady at the store, a guy I see waiting at the bus stop. I pray for my friends and the people I know too, I pray for their safety, I pray for that they may be happy, that they may feel special or blessed.

For a very long time, while I attended college, when I dreamed,  I never saw normal people, I always saw them in slow sluggish zombie-like states walking sluggish and I was moving rather quickly as opposed to them,  I was always wondering what the heck was going on with everyone why they moved at  a slower pace than myself. I wondered what I would have to do to awaken these people.  Now I see the sands of time slipping down the hour glass and I’m the one that is trying to catch up with the rest of life around me. A great friend took me out to lunch this summer when I was a mess, I was not thinking clearly,  but he reminded me that I had to get back in to the moment, the NOW and enjoy the ride,  something I often forget.

My goal for a long time was to go to Law School, be a lawyer and kick butt in the law room for the underprivileged.  As time goes on, that dream slips more and more. I don’t think I want to so much do that anymore.

My other goal is to start an academy like place for young men of single parent homes  and teach them many life skills, yet, I am my worst enemy. I am harder than myself than I really think I am. This goes back to the compliments.  I have it so good sometimes that I self-sabotage myself in order to really question if I really am in dreaming or if the actions of personal success are really happening around me. This is the main reason I have not taken a risk on this goal.

As for my goals, I’m not sure what I want to really do long term as a career right now, but I do know what I don’t want.

Some of the things I do want to do for 2013 is:

  1. I want to get back on a constant regular basis at the gym.
  2. I want to buy a new computer
  3. I want to buy a Nikon Digital SLR Camera.
  4. I want to buy my own Stairmaster.
  5. 13.1 miles is also on my list.
  6. Be more assertive.
  7. I want to meet up with some of the people I interact with on twitter and facebook that live in other states that I have not met.

Other long term goals include:

  1. I want to swim with Great White sharks off the coast of Australia or Baja California.
  2. I want to visit London, Brazil, Machu Pichuu and The Pyramids’ of Egypt.
  3. I want to restore a classic car

We’ll see where I go from here…

Thank you for taking the time to read my rant, this note, even if you have nothing to say or respond, I appreciate you taking the effort to read what is on my mind. I end this notes with 2 quotes from “The Rock”

“Success – chase it. Respect – earn it. Love – embrace it”

“Walk up to opportunities door, don’t knock…  Kick it in, smile and introduce yourself. “-Dwayne Johnson

In 2013, I am going all in. I am betting it all.

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