I had a student the other day; he’s like, “I don’t want talk to her, she’s not hot.” I was like WOW! You’re amazing. There are so many levels we can talk about this, by the way. That statement itself says so much about him. We can automatically go to the fact that he’s automatically judging what beauty is. Well in that case, anybody that he judges better judge him back because they leave themselves open to it. – Adam Lyons (on Judging Beauty)

Great coach and friend Adam Lyons and myself. Adam Lyons is a Social Dynamics and Attraction Coach, recognized as one of the top in the World.
Prior to 2006, I was deeply involved in politics, I was good at talking with an older generations, and a younger generation, and those people always embraced me as an equal, yet I was often having trouble communicating with people my own age, and if I did communicate with them, I always felt like there was never a genuine or emotional connection. I really lacked that equilibrium in my life.
In January of 2006, after getting my heart broken, I spent much time in deep depression. I felt miserable. I spent many months trying to figure what I had done wrong in my relationship. I went through almost 2 years of DEPRESSION. Yet during this time, different people in my life were dragging me out to try and expand my peripheral vision of life. I realized that overall; my social interactions with people were not good. I was frustrated, sometimes desperate and when people intertwine frustration and desperation, it leads to a real sad state real quickly. I decided I wanted to get serious about not just learning, but mastering the art of the social interaction.
My problem was I invested too much in others and I never felt I received it, so this always caused a heart ache in me. Giving value is one thing, investing in someone is another. This was my biggest problem trying to distinguish from the two. I didn’t realize this until much later on what I was doing wrong, until I met Adam Lyons, a man who I would later on meet and he would help remove certain veils that our own personal egos will blind us with.
In 2007, I got a job as a salesman. I was motivated, but during this time, I felt I was starting to lose myself. I was still going through depression and I also felt like my identity was being lost in the process. Being a salesman, I often felt like I was not genuine with people. I was losing my inner core. I felt like a robot. Then my life took a real turn in 08. I got released from a sales job, which was I real good at. I got another job and it made me realize how big of an EGO I really had and how this was holding me back in my interactions. I knew there were social interaction coaches out there but I was really unsure what style I really wanted to learn. There were so many teachers and so many theories, but I was not sure what would suit me the best. I wanted the fundamentals broken down.
In November of 2008, someone told me about social interaction coach Adam Lyons who was from London England. It seems Adam Lyons was rated the #1 pick-up artist in Europe, and rated #3 in the world by the pick-up community. He taught men how to improve their communication with other people. I added him on Facebook not knowing what to really expect, I guess I was just another Joe shmoe on his friends list, but when I meet people, I don’t want to meet them and get to know them for their profession, but I want to genuine and get to know them outside as much as possible. If anything I want something to offer in return. He’s from London, I’m in Arizona. I never thought I’d ever meet him, or take one of his socializing courses; I mean what are the chances of meeting someone who is half way around the world? So I brushed him off as another name on my Facebook. Then I thought about what I had done. I thought about it for at least 3 weeks. On December 9, 2008 I sent Adam a message wishing him happy birthday and saying that one day I wanted to sit down, chat and get to know him not just as a teacher but as a friend. I was astonished he replied to my comment since he must have had over 3000 birthday wishes that day.
In January of 2009, I learned that a certain company from England he was working for was going to be selling only 1000 of an 8 DVD Set on psychology of social interaction. I jumped at the process of purchasing it and when my DVDS arrived, I popped one in. I didn’t care for the speaker on the 1st DVD, but when I inserted to watch the 2nd DVD, it opened a whole new world to me. Adam Lyons was teaching on this DVD.
I was blown away how he had broken theory down. I learned about how he used his social circle to create other interactions. I was blown away I tell you… Being somewhat a student of psychology, I understood what he had to say because he was not using complicated words. I understood the dynamics he talked and teached. This DVD that I saw on him made me want to devour everything I could find online about Adam Lyons. I searched online for any audios, videos, anything I could find on the guy. I just felt that I had to meet him. I was going to do whatever it would take to not only meet this guy, but also take one of his classes.
Problem though. He’s in London. I’m in Arizona. Then I learned his company would be flying him out to different cities in the United States so he could teach his classes in the United States.
In April of 2009, I started saving money up to take his class in Los Angeles for May, but realized I would come up short of funds. The dilemma I had was that I could go and take his class and not have a place to stay, or I could have a place to stay and not take his class. Then I learned he would be speaking at a seminar on Sunday Night, May 3rd 2009. It would have to do; I wanted to meet him, Even if it was a quick handshake and hello.
So on the night of May 2nd, I drove all the way from Phoenix to Los Angeles just to meet him in L.A. the next day. I was nervous at the seminar. I not only recognized him, but I recognized his fiancé at the time, Amanda Torres. His seminar was packed, but as he walked in, and I was sitting in the back, I looked up and saw him, and he saw him and he said, “Hello Gabe, how you doing,” This literally shocked me that he not only recognized me but actually remembered our conversation from Facebook several months back. Adam Lyons talked a lot about things I already knew about at the seminar. To me, it was just a refresher, but what I enjoyed most was when he talked, he doesn’t make things technical or complicated like other teachers. He talks in everyday terms that even a child could understand.
I snapped many photos of him, his friends, and him and who at the time was his fiancée Amanda. Some of these pictures he used as his pictures for Facebook.
A week later after meeting Adam, I learned he was going to be teaching a 3 day class in July 2009 in Scottsdale Arizona, and for me, it was a weekend that would change my life and take my interactions to another level as I know it now. I signed up for the course. When I met Adam, I give him and his wife Amanda a gift; it was a picture I had taken of him, his wife and several friends when I first met them in Los Angeles.
During the course of the seminar Adam said he would take us out to a public setting and we had little missions we had to accomplish with the things he had taught us in the seminar. So he taught several other individuals who were there, along with myself.
On the first night of his course, Friday, Adam wanted to assess my abilities to see how much I knew. He wanted to figure what bad habits needed fixing and what the diagnosis for my reprogramming. For a majority of the night I froze. This scared me a great deal because since I first started interacting with people in 2006, I rarely felt this fear or anxiety I was feeling. I had gone up to random strangers to talk to them many of times before, and yet I could not do it this time. Maybe because I felt like I was under a microscope. Maybe I felt the pressure of being judged, being the shadow of someone who I saw so great at what I wanted to learn.
I got to a point in which I was yelling to myself inside my head, “stop thinking, you know how to lighten up and control crowds…” I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs, and at one time I fought hard to keep the tears inside. I honestly wanted to hide. I was so mad at myself for not being able to ‘pull the trigger’ at certain moments. Definitely an uneasy feeling because I knew I could do it, and I just wasn’t doing it.
Adam took me aside and gave me a quick personal pep talk and I calmed down. He then had me go up to a certain girl and told me he was not leaving until I got her number or at least talked to her for five minutes. I really did not want to talk to her at all thinking I would have nothing in common, but it was now or never. We chatted, and this woman wanted to keep in contact with me so we exchanged phone numbers. What was amazing about this girl was that she was from out of town, but I had visited her extremely small city in Missouri where she was from, so we were able to talk about what we both had in common for a great amount of time. I didn’t think anything was really going to come out of the interaction, but the next night, that girl called me and invited me over to hang out which caused me to be late on the last day of the course. Who would have known?
After Adam’s 3 day course, I came to realize that I had all the tools all along, but he taught me in what order to use those tools and how to use them properly. Adam taught me the difference between giving value and investing in someone. He said ‘Value vs. Investment’ was going to change many of the affected facets of not only with personal interactions I had with people, but also mentally and emotionally things I struggled with. He personally taught me something called “social game,” on how to use the network of people around you to introduce you to other people, and also taught me how to properly use “frame control,” both which he will rarely ever teach anyone.
Since meeting Adam Lyons, several of my friends all tell me that since that time that I did not do a 180, but I do a total 900 in my life and how I live. They ask how… I say… Adam Lyons. I always joke to my friends that he has a PhD in Attraction since he has broken down Attraction down to a physics equation, and he does.
(C-R) + Q + SE = Attraction.
He also taught me the various forms of attraction (general attraction and physical attraction) and what draws people to us or us drawn to them. I have been able to reverse engineer many of my interactions with people and see the basis of how each letter works.
(Comfort – Rapport) + Qualification + Escalation = Attraction
On September 13, 2009, I was fortunate enough to have run in to Adam and Amanda in Las Vegas, were he introduced me to other great social art interaction teachers. We hung out at the Palms hotel for a great amount of time.
He has taught thousands of men in his seminars and course classes who want to learn the ‘Art of Attraction,’ but for me it was never about ‘picking up’ to me it was about learning how to make my interactions more meaningful and more powerful with people, in which he did help me accomplish.
To this day, often throughout his extremely busy herculean schedule, Adam will call me or email me from time to time to see how I am doing. Aside from that, it is those times when Adam will continue to teach me other things to build on what he has already showed me. I have realized I was always great at many things, but I came to learn that I didn’t know how to bring out those qualities out from within myself and how to properly display them in my interactions. Adam taught me how to do so and it makes me feel more connected with whomever I was interacting with. To this day, knowing and learning that, it gives me a real sense of security within myself.
All my answers were not solved right away. It wasn’t like Adam gave me a “magic pill” to solve all my problems. I had to put in the work and practice. I realized by being social and practicing, I would meet people from all venues of life, photographers, accountants, cooks, promoters, beauticians, fitness trainers, fashion designers, musicians, people who worked in different places , actually people from all walks of life. etc. etc.
I pushed myself by getting out of my comfort zone by attending places in my area I had never gone too, like trying new restaurants, going to music shows of bands I had never heard. In a way it will somewhat remind you of “Jim Carrey” in the movie “Yes Man” when he grows as a personal individual and expanding his horizons. This allowed me to build momentum and connections I felt I had lost during my years of depression. All this would not only help me grow as a person but it would show to others that I was a person to be valued because of the people I know or things I had tried. When a girl needed help with her taxes, I know someone I could call, when a friend would be looking for a venue to throw a party, I remembered a venue manager I had met a couple weeks prior. When someone needed a favor, they could always turn to me. One can learn what is taught, but if it is not practiced, then it does you NO use. This goes back to what Adam taught me, “Value vs. Investment”
Some of the few of questions on “Value vs. Invesment’ I will ask myself often; What do I value? How DO I show of give value? How do I know I am getting value in return? Is it worth Investing? Do I feel as I’m investing too much or too little?
There’s a lot of responsibility that goes along with what I learned from Adam, the thing is, today, I am more focused and motivated than I’ve ever been. Adam Lyons and his wife Amanda really redefined, in my own mind, what I was capable of doing. My confidence, my beliefs in myself are STARTING to mold and take shape, not just in social interactions, but other aspects of my life as well.
Thank You Adam for being not only a great teacher, but also a very great friend as well.
The Aftermath:
Since I have met Adam Lyons, three times (Los Angeles, Scottsdale and Las Vegas) in 2009, He went on to marry the gorgeous and beautiful spirit Amanda Torres Lyons. Prior to 2009, He was well known in the London England nightclub circuit, getting paid by clubs to bring girls, who he had friended. This was a big reason; I really wanted to learn from Adam, he knew how to live is ‘a entertaining lifestyle.’ During this course of time, he met Amanda Torres through his circle of friends who were mainly women. After two years, he moved to America to be with her and they got married in the summer of 2009 at the age of 28. In December of 2009, He was rated the #1 Pickup Artist in The World which says a lot about his journey in life, since at the age of 15 he was voted ‘least likely to ever get a girlfriend’ in school by his classmates. He claims he had limited success with women until his mid-twenties, until he read a book that changed his life. He is now one regarded as one of the top dating coaches in the world.
To add Adam Lyons on Twitter, visit http://www.twitter.com/AFCAdam
To learn more about Adam Lyons, visit his website at http://www.attractionexplained.com/